Everybody lies. And that’s no lie. If you deny that, well, chances are, you’re probably lying. I can’t believe you’d do that to me.
Anyway, I’d like to focus on a particular type of dishonesty: the lies our parents told us when we were innocent and impressionable young rascals. Whether they mislead us to teach us life lessons, make us consume foul-tasting vegetables, avoid public embarrassment or simply for the fun of it.. the point is that there was more to each of those untruths than our young minds may have realised. Now, I’m sure not everyone was lied to as a child. Some lucky individuals probably managed to avoid the embarrassment of warning a friend in high school that “running down the stairs with a pudding cup will make the TV stop working!” or something equally ridiculous. Then again, some of us were lied to and sometimes the truth hurts. Luckily, in this case, it’s quite pain free!
Here are some of the more common ‘lies’ that parents have been known to tell, coupled with a rough translation that reflects the real truth, lurking within:
- “If you pull a face and the wind changes, it’ll stay that way”
Truth: Don’t make weird faces in public because I don’t want anyone thinking I gave birth to a simpleton. Being married to one is embarrassing enough.
- “Santa Claus/ the Easter Bunny/ the Tooth Fairy/ Grandpa’s teeth are real”
Truth: We like to play mind games with you because we made you.
- “If you stare at the tv for too long, you’ll get square eyes”
Truth: obviously watching too much television can cause eye strain and sitting too close to the screen will only exacerbate this. But don’t panic! Cool your jets there, sailor. Our eyes couldn’t possibly assume a square shape. That’s just crazy talk. What your parents really wanted was for you to go and play with your barrel of monkeys and stop hogging the set.
- “It’s what’s on the inside that counts”
Truth: You’ve only got a few precious years to live without feeling painfully self-conscious of your appearance. Before you know it, you’ll be brainwashed by the media to not only feel physically inadequate, but to pass judgement about the worth of others based purely on their looks, before gaining any other clues as to the nature of their character. Phewf. Or.. maybe they just thought you were ugly. - “If you eat your crusts you’ll get curly hair”
Truth: You better eat those because I paid for them but I ain’t payin fo yur perm girrll. ahem.
- “If you can dream it, you can do it”
Truth: We’re trying to fill you with self confidence and instil within you the idea that anything is possible and your potential to succeed is limitless. Simply put, dreams can become reality.
(Sounds harmless enough. But I heard this one not long after I’d dreamt about being trapped in a room full of soft toys as they transformed into human-hungry zombie monsters. I’d also dreamt that I met Bill Clinton. Understandably, hearing that these things could happen in real life frightened the hell out of me. I’m scared right now.)Will I be so bold as to explore the lies we tell our parents?
August 16, 2008 at 11:15 am
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!