Cellular Levels

August 7, 2008


Mobile phones are little miracle machines and an estimated 80% of Australians own one. Compact, multi-functional and convenient, I wonder how we ever lived without these babies. Apparently with a lot less anxiety and more money in our pockets. Yep, maybe they’re not so miraculous after all.
With this in mind, I decided to investigate just how beneficial mobile phones are in this day and age.
First, let’s look at the advantages of owning your very own mobile phone. You’ve got:
– 24 hour access to a fast and efficient communication tool.
– in most cases, much more than just a portable telephone. Eg. Most mobiles include a built-in camera, mp3 player, internet access.. the list goes on.

Now this all sounds great. And it is, to a degree. Like the rest of this technologically dependent population, I couldn’t last a day without my phone. I use it to wake me up in the morning, make social arrangements and I’ll admit to sending the occasional mindless text. However, this device is not without its drawbacks.

Let’s take a look at some of them:
The cost. Text-happy teens are struggling to pay perpetually escalating phone bills. Instead of making a quick call from a landline phone, many people send short text messages back and forth, spending several dollars to exchange a few words instead of significantly less. It is not uncommon for users to send hundreds, if not thousands of unnecessary SMS’s each month, and then have to fork out several hundred dollars to their phone providers. They’re simply throwing their money away. Why not throw it at me instead?

The constant interruption.
Pretty sure everyone can relate to this. Have you ever been in a movie/lecture/meeting/conversation that was disrupted by a ringing mobile? It’s just.. grr. Mobile phones have given owners the power to reach you wherever you might be and interrupt whatever you might be doing. Often simply because they’re “bored”. Thank god for the ‘silent’ option.

But these are only minor problems. More seriously, mobile phones are putting the mental and physical health of many users at risk. Here’s how:

1. Texting and driving: A Telstra survey found that one in six drivers admit to regularly sending text messages while driving. Texting requires concentration. In a driving context, everything can change in a split second and you simply can’t afford to take your eyes and mind off the road to send a text. Texting related accidents lead to the banning of this behaviour but unfortunately it still happens. If you’re behind the wheel, be responsible. Don’t text or call anybody. It’s just not worth it. If it’s a life or death situation, pull over.

2. Influencing self-worth. Unfortunately, many young teens determine the social worth of their peers and themselves based on incoming mobile phone activity.
“Mobile phones give young people prestige,” Barcelona psychologist Andres Gonzalez explains. “The person who gets the most messages is the most valued.”

3. Development of an addiction. The Queensland University of Technology suggests that mobile phone addiction could be the new psychological disorder of the twenty-first century. According to psychiatrists, the addiction is not to mobile phones themselves, but to what they enable: frequent communication and interaction with others.

Numerous reports have examined the negative effects of overusing and becoming too attached to mobile phones. These can include:

development of RSI

feeling anxious when separated from the mobile phone or in areas with no reception

getting insufficient sleep due to texting throughout the night

incurring massive debt from excessive calling and texting

and in extreme cases, resorting to crime to fund the habit.

Are YOU addicted?

Apparently mobile phone addiction should be suspected if a person feels an irresistible need to use their mobile for more than half an hour daily. Eep.

Conclusion: Mobile phones are useful and convenient and can make life easier in many ways but they’re not worth wasting your time and money on. They’re definitely not worth losing sleep and risking your health over. Think twice before sending out meaningless texts, it’s just edging you closer and closer to becoming addicted.

TXT U L8R LOLZ.


Colour in Your Cupboard

August 7, 2008


Did you know the colours you wear can affect the way others perceive you? Well, now you do. Here’s a little guide which will allow you to use this to your advantage.

Wear BLUE: to symbolise tranquillity and loyality. Job applicants are encouraged to wear blue to job interviews for this reason.

Wear BLACK: to symbolise authority and power.
Need to show someone who’s boss? Well show them!… in black.

Wear WHITE: to symbolise your innocence and purity. You’ll fool everybody.
White is also worn to connote sterility, which explains the uniforms of hospital staff.

Wear PURPLE: if you’re feeling a bit rich. It’s linked to royalty, wealth and sophistication.
However, because it rarely occurs in nature, it can be associated with artificiality.

Wear RED: to get noticed. Red is intense and eye-catching. It can aggravate some (bull-like) people though, so should be avoided if you’re planning a confrontation or negotiation.

Wear GREEN: to look natural. Green is associated with nature and because it is easy on the eyes, it is thought to have a calming and refreshing effect. Wear dark green if you want to be a macho man – it’s linked to masculinity.

Wear BROWN: to look solid and reliable. Yep, it’s that easy, men. This colour can also be associated with wistfulness. Yep, it’s that easy, men.

Wear YELLOW: to make people smile and get attention. However, yellow is known to make babies cry because it is the most difficult colour for the eye to take in. Stick to other colours when babies are near.

Wear PINK: to get lovey. It’s the most romantic colour and can have a tranquilizing effect.

Now hurry up and put some clothes on.


Why Oh Winehouse?

August 6, 2008

These pictures say it all. And more.


I Wish I Wish

August 5, 2008

that I worked for google (if these photos don’t deceive)..

slide! at work! WORKSLIDE!

slide! at work! WORKSLIDE!

I could end this post right now. I won’t though.. because

that guy's sitting in a boat. at work! WORKBOAT!

there are video games & pool tables a-plenty

and to unwind (because sitting at a computer all day and playing games and sitting in boats and sliding around is sooooo intense)
they have this place, whatever it is:

and two kinds of massage rooms (that’s more than one):


Twin Bares Twins: Twice the Lack of Interest

August 5, 2008

I couldn’t be less interested in the recent hype/speculation about pictures surfacing on the net of a girl who is supposedly Jess Origliasso – half of The Veronicas – posing sans top. What difference does it make? As they say, any publicity is good publicity, not that I really support the idea of The Veronicas receiving any media attention whatsoever. But let’s not bring their musical talent, or lack thereof, into this.
Loyal fans have scrutinized the image(s), claiming that it’s simply a lookalike because although the girl in the pictures has a similar tattoo to Jess, it is on the wrong side etc etc.
Scandalous celebrity pictures are nothing new. Has happened before, will happen again. I don’t care whether or not it was her but it’s a shame that The Veronicas have a young(ish) following. The suppressed mother in me thinks this kind of thing can only set a bad example and encourage copycat behaviour among fans (the poor things) who idolise these girls.

a subtle hint at what the future held?

Young Veronicas: a subtle hint at what the future held?


Japanese Thirst for Weirdness

August 5, 2008

I’ve realised that Japanese beverage manufacturers aren’t afraid to put some pretty strange drinks on the market. Thirsty? How about some

Bilk. that's the irresistable mix of beer & milk. mm. bilky.

Bilk? that's the irresistable mix of beer & milk.

mmm. bilky.
or if that’s not quite your thing why not take a swig from a perfectly chilled bottle of
.. ice cucumber pepsi. Oh yeah.

And for those of you who are counting calories, don’t fret! There’ll be no unwanted weight gain if you stick to

delicious Diet Water.

delicious Diet Water.

Oh Japan. God help you.


Snapping the Nose Off Pinocchio Parenting

August 5, 2008

Everybody lies. And that’s no lie. If you deny that, well, chances are, you’re probably lying. I can’t believe you’d do that to me.
Anyway, I’d like to focus on a particular type of dishonesty: the lies our parents told us when we were innocent and impressionable young rascals. Whether they mislead us to teach us life lessons, make us consume foul-tasting vegetables, avoid public embarrassment or simply for the fun of it.. the point is that there was more to each of those untruths than our young minds may have realised. Now, I’m sure not everyone was lied to as a child. Some lucky individuals probably managed to avoid the embarrassment of warning a friend in high school that “running down the stairs with a pudding cup will make the TV stop working!” or something equally ridiculous. Then again, some of us were lied to and sometimes the truth hurts. Luckily, in this case, it’s quite pain free!
Here are some of the more common ‘lies’ that parents have been known to tell, coupled with a rough translation that reflects the real truth, lurking within:

  1. If you pull a face and the wind changes, it’ll stay that way”
    Truth: Don’t make weird faces in public because I don’t want anyone thinking I gave birth to a simpleton. Being married to one is embarrassing enough.

  2. “Santa Claus/ the Easter Bunny/ the Tooth Fairy/ Grandpa’s teeth are real”
    Truth: We like to play mind games with you because we made you.

  3. “If you stare at the tv for too long, you’ll get square eyes”
    Truth: obviously watching too much television can cause eye strain and sitting too close to the screen will only exacerbate this. But don’t panic! Cool your jets there, sailor. Our eyes couldn’t possibly assume a square shape. That’s just crazy talk. What your parents really wanted was for you to go and play with your barrel of monkeys and stop hogging the set.

  4. “It’s what’s on the inside that counts”
    Truth: You’ve only got a few precious years to live without feeling painfully self-conscious of your appearance. Before you know it, you’ll be brainwashed by the media to not only feel physically inadequate, but to pass judgement about the worth of others based purely on their looks, before gaining any other clues as to the nature of their character. Phewf. Or.. maybe they just thought you were ugly.
  5. “If you eat your crusts you’ll get curly hair”
    Truth: You better eat those because I paid for them but I ain’t payin fo yur perm girrll. ahem.

  6. “If you can dream it, you can do it”
    Truth: We’re trying to fill you with self confidence and instil within you the idea that anything is possible and your potential to succeed is limitless. Simply put, dreams can become reality.
    (Sounds harmless enough. But I heard this one not long after I’d dreamt about being trapped in a room full of soft toys as they transformed into human-hungry zombie monsters. I’d also dreamt that I met Bill Clinton. Understandably, hearing that these things could happen in real life frightened the hell out of me. I’m scared right now.)

    Will I be so bold as to explore the lies we tell our parents?